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Close Log in Forget? And suddenly, something becomes painfully clear: Either Britney Spears is the least self-aware person I've ever met, or she's way, way savvier than any of us realize. Compared with the depletion of the ozone layer or the political future of Arnold Schwarzenegger, I concede that the existence of Britney Spears is light-years beyond trivial. Isn't everything wholly overt? We just bounce off each other and show the world what we can do. But in my weird little head, I just think we're all here to inspire each other. Twenty feet away from me, Britney Spears is pantless.


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Britney: Haven't you ever seen girls on magazine covers before? Not even once. She's not wearing any pants.

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So maybe I did hurt his ego, and [going on the radio] was his way of dealing with that. It is not that Britney Spears denies that she is a sexual icon, or that she disputes that American men are fascinated with the concept of the wet-hot virgin, or that she feels her success says nothing about what our society fantasizes about. Lo cover? Don't be fooled by the photos that accompany this story, true believers: Britney Spears is not going to become some kind of sex thing.

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Isn't this how the modern media operates? Today's Top Stories. Interviewing Britney Spears is like deposing Bill Clinton: Regardless of the evidence, she does not waver. This is a hard detail to ignore because the men who have seen a pantless Britney belong to a highly select fraternity: It's Justin Timberlake, her gynecologist, the photographer who's doing this particular photo shoot, and maybe the frontman for a third-rate rap-metal band from Jacksonville, Florida. It's funny to you, and you're drawn to them. Britney's womanhood will not be seen this afternoon, or at least not seen by me. But that reality does not affect her reality, which is that these pictures have nothing to do with sex.

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Papichulo as Whitney. Scarlett Johansson. Either that, or an entertainment lawyer. She's not wearing any pants.

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She was wearing a bikini. But what makes her so different from previous incarnations of jailbait purity -- Tiffany, Brooke Shields, Annette Funicello, et al. On the surface, this statement is insane. She doesn't disagree with any of that stuff, because she swears she has never even thought about it.

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